As UGLY as they come

This is Ugly.Mikes Wonder Woman Costume

Some might think Chris Farley also Ugly. I Loved Chris Farley!

But this is really UGLY!

I’m working on a Short Sale Negotiation. I’m putting together the package now. The homeowner is a single woman, no job, 2 kids. She has two mortgages. The first being a POA. Does it really matter what the second is?

The Listing Agent has a couple of real offers. I’m compiling charts and working on the “other” compensating factors why the neighborhood is in such decline and came across what I can only describe as a horrid tale of Ugliness.

How Ugly is UGLY?

There are currently 82 REOs in the neighborhood.

RealtyTrakREO

There are 139 NODs (soon to be REOs)

RealtyTrakNOD

How about the record high HOMICIDES last year?

What about the other crimes?

How does 631 separate incidents in the last 90 days sound?

crime90days

My package includes over 300 recent news stories about this neighborhood.

I don’t know about you, but if I was a Loss Mitigation Specialist and had an offer presented that would keep my company from owning this potential soon to be REO, I’d take pretty much anything that came my way.

Given the choice between living in this neighborhood or walking around in my Wonder Woman Costume everyday – I’d pick the superhero route.

No Responses to “As UGLY as they come”

  1. Wine Dog 28. Feb, 2008 at 1:47 pm #

    Mike knows ugly. I love your creativity with the package. Let us know what happens.

  2. Gina Gardner 28. Feb, 2008 at 1:57 pm #

    Wow…and I thought Nevada was bad. Although at least with a trailer when things get this rough you can just move it to a better park :)

  3. Mike Mueller 28. Feb, 2008 at 2:21 pm #

    Wine Dog – I will.
    Thanks for the compliment. Our packages arrive completely different than anyone else. We present a compelling case on multiple levels for acceptance

    Gina – Ok, so that gives me another option.
    1. Live in the neighborhood,
    2. Dress up everyday like Wonder Woman,
    3. Pump up the tires, hitch the home to the truck.

    Woo Hoo! : )

  4. Robert D. Ashby 28. Feb, 2008 at 4:25 pm #

    Wonder Woman? Thanks for the picture that will haunt me for a long time. Of course, Wonder Woman wouldn’t need the truck.

    South Florida is another one of those UGLY areas in some spots except for the homocides part. Although Miami-Dade County does run the highest in hit and run accidents, does that count?

  5. Mike Mueller 28. Feb, 2008 at 4:47 pm #

    Robert – No worries. I usually just wear the costume for Halloween. In your case, I’d make an exception. Would they let me board the plane like that? ;)

    Hey, if Hit and Runs make an area look bad, I’ll use them! I’d use the fact that there are is a disproportionate amount of Ice Cream Trucks in a neighborhood if I thought it would work.

  6. Rich Vosler 28. Feb, 2008 at 8:05 pm #

    Run Forest run!!

  7. lisa 29. Feb, 2008 at 8:02 am #

    Mike, this was quite uplifting for a leap day post! To bring some perspective, here is a post I found that brings all this full circle! Reminds me of one of my best friends from High School who owns a few liquor stores and just bought a funeral home!

    Know the Song used by Monty Python, “Always Look at the bright side of Life”? Here’s how one person thought it pertained to our current economy!

    Happy Leap Day! Enjoy the spare time…

    http://yourbiz.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/02/15/665008.aspx

  8. Vance Shutes 29. Feb, 2008 at 10:56 am #

    Mike,

    And here I thought we had it bad in Michigan! Yikes! Our long winter of discontent continues!

  9. Athol Kay 01. Mar, 2008 at 7:58 pm #

    That photo… :-O

  10. Tony Gallegos 01. Mar, 2008 at 9:44 pm #

    Mike Mueller – I have said it before and I’ll say it again…you are the master of the metaphor!!

  11. Wine Dog 05. Mar, 2008 at 6:18 am #

    Hey Mike,

    I was in a conversation about short sales last night and I thought of you and this bad boy. How’s this thing going?

  12. Mike Mueller 05. Mar, 2008 at 7:37 am #

    Rich – She wants to run for sure. Unfortunately, she plans to rent an apartment in the same neighborhood!

    Lisa – Being a long time MP fan I can break into song at any time. That’s a great article and exactly the way I think. Oh and yes. “I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay…

    Vance – I wish I could post a picture in a comment. I have the perfect picture for you. http://www.patagoniafinance.com/smileys/discounttent.jpg

    Athol – Thanks! How about a new series? The Bad Neighborhood Map of the Day . Just thinking… ;)

    Tony – You are always much too kind! Thanks!

    Wine Dog – We are submitted. I’ll keep you posted.
    BTW: I am also a Cork Dork. We’re not too far away from Napa Valley. I vividly remember whole vineyards being yanked up due to phylloxera. Some went, others next door were just fine. I remember arial views showing the valley and the destruction that was not so different from the housing maps today.

  13. Lisa 05. Mar, 2008 at 7:49 am #

    Mike what do you say we rename silly Friday, Monty Python Friday! Could make it quite fun…I am sure we could equate the quotes to todays environment!
    “Bring out your Dead!” or in my case, “Always look at the Bright Side of Life”!

  14. Robert D. Ashby 05. Mar, 2008 at 8:02 am #

    I don’t want to see any white rabbits now, after all they have pointy teeth.

  15. Wine Dog 05. Mar, 2008 at 9:35 am #

    Hopefully, they’ve settled that down with the grafting. Yikes.

    BTW, if you’ve been to CCRIM, we’ve probably met. ;)

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